i can’t live without your (love and affection)

September 22, 2002 &bull uncategorized

Reflections on the 89er, part two

I’ll have to admit, living next to rock stars wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be. Don’t get me wrong — there were late night parties, loud music, girls, and, of course, alcohol. But, like I said, it just wasn’t like I had envisioned. Then again, all my fantasies involved cool rock stars, not the lame 90s rock-duo Nelson, who turned out to be my first neighbors in the 89er.

I always thought that the Nelson twins were identical brothers, but I soon discovered that they are actually fraternal twins — a brother and sister. Throughout my whole tenure at the 89er I couldn’t understand how the media missed such a simple fact.

It’s amazing how one’s mind can mold sensory data into notions that simply don’t match reality. I guess sometimes the mind really has a mind of its own. Day in and day out I saw my neighbors, a male and female, both in their early twenties, living in the same one bedroom apartment that was, simply stated, quite small. Although they shared similar physical characteristics (e.g., long, stringy blonde hair, tight black jeans, and white high-tops) there was really no evidence to suggest they were related. Yet, my mind latched onto a single, yet utterly-important fact, that blinded me from any rational conclusion. Although all of the data presented suggested that my neighbors were boyfriend and girlfriend, I was constantly drawing the conclusion that these two were the rock sensation Nelson. I mean, I was utterly helpless to come to any other conclusion, no matter how hard I tried. I had no choice!

You’re probably wondering what “single fact” could lead me to draw such a silly conclusion. The fact of the matter is that the female half of the duo was ugly. I’m not talking about everyday ugly or even once-a-week ugly. I’m talking about, “Holy shit! Arggh! You want the rest of this burger? I’m just not hungry any more,” ugly. I’m ashamed to even write there words because I know that’s a horrible thing to say about anyone. Like the mind, though, the pen sometimes has a mind of its own. And I’m not here to run from the truth; I’m merely here to report it. Today’s headline: “Ugly.”

I guess I just couldn’t grasp the idea that anyone could fall in love with such a nasty person. The girl was not just physically ugly — her whole being was ugly. She was rude, loud, obnoxious, and, of course, ugly. I heard her yell things at her roommate that I wouldn’t yell at my worst enemy! Combine all these qualities with the fact that her and her boyfriend looked just like Gunnar and Matthew Nelson, it was just too much for my mind to handle. Thus, I came up with the conclusion that I still hold today: I lived next to Nelson in a crummy, garden-level apartment for a year and a half.

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