best of 2002

January 1, 2003 &bull movies, music

Over the last week or so I have been kicking around the idea of putting together a short “best of” list for 2002. But, the more I thought about this, the harder I realized it would be to come up with a meaningful list. I mean, any time you go out on a limb and start telling people what you really like you’re opening yourself up for a lot of critical judgement. I thought maybe a list of “things that sucked in 2002″ would be more sophisticated, but I’m trying to be more positive and that certainly wouldn’t be the best way to cap off the year, would it?

After spending a few late nights scrounging around Ebay I actually found a solution to my problem. Thankfully it showed up in the mail just in time for me to write this piece.

According to its seller, lonnie4231, this little device can “channel your inner thoughts and desires into words you can’t put into words….” I figured this was just what I needed to make my “best of 2002″ list so I out-bid “bigMomma35672″ with the proverbial Ebay last-second, snake-in-the-grass, you-shoulda-been-watchin-this-all-night-long-sucker bid.

Now, don’t ask me how it works because, frankly, I have no idea. The first thing you do is ask the device a question (i.e., what you want to know). The device then asks you a few seemingly random questions, which require thoughtful answers. After a few minutes of computation, it spits out a paper tape containing the answer to your query.

As for the device itself, it’s kind of hard to describe. I wouldn’t necessarily call it an adding machine and I definitely wouldn’t call it a Sit-n-Spin, although it’s eerily reminiscent of these two things. Anyway, I spent a couple of hours late last night, enveloped in the darkness of my office, spinning around while I laughed, cried, thought about the last year, and answered the random questions presented by “the device.” Here is a summary of what it came up with.

Initial question: Best movie I saw in 2002?
Device: High Fidelity and Rushmore
Follow-up comment: Wait, that’s two and I only asked for one.
Device: It was a tie.
Follow-up comment: Oh.

Initial question: Biggest movie disappointment for me in 2002?
Device: The Deer Hunter

Initial question: Best album I listened to in 2002?
Device: Pinback — Blue Screen Life

Question: Worst album I listened to in 2002?
Device: Mannheim Steamroller — Christmas Extraordinaire
Follow-up comment: But that was a gift from my mom!
Device: Tell your mom I’m sorry.

Question: Best book I read in 2002?
Device: Wittgenstein’s Poker

Question: Best city I visited in 2002?
Device: Santa Barbara, California

Question: Worst city I visited in 2002?
Device: Oxnard, California

Question: What surprised me the most in 2002?
Device: Realizing that, although nothing was mentioned by your doctors, your gall bladder operation required a catheter be inserted into your…
Follow-up comment: Whoa! Are you serious?

Question: News stories I’m happy to leave behind in 2002?
Device: Iraq anything, corporate scandals, Paul Wellstone’s death, Republican election victories, civil libert—OUT OF PAPER TAPE

Happy new year!

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